We are all comedians in our own right. We laugh at ourselves when we are being ridiculously stupid. We laugh at our surroundings when we should be screaming our brains out because we don’t want to be where we are at that moment. We laugh out loud when our hearts are so torn to shreds during our times of grief. What makes us laugh when we should be sobbing openly? It is our Spirit. If we succumb to our true feelings at the moment where we could crumble, our inner spirit tells us that life is funny. We have all heard the saying “Laugh and the world laughs with you"…blah blah blah. As for me, I prefer to cry alone. I do not like to be around people when I am so emotionally unsettled that I cannot control my tears. So, what do I do when my surroundings are bringing my Spirit down? I will either try to find a remote corner of the Universe (in my world, of course), or I try to migrate around the energies that draw me to high spirit and laughter. I will admit, I cry more for happy occasions, such weddings, movies, TV shows. I will take it as far as saying I need to know the movie ending and if it is not a happy one, then I don’t want to see it. I love watching reality shows that feature people being reunited with loved ones. I cry when the Angels of mercy build a house for some poor family who had fallen on hard times. The list goes on and on. However, I know that they are “high-energy” cries because I feel good inside. I don’t feel good about crying like a big baby, but I feel good knowing that someone is making someone else happy. That is where the comedy comes in. I will try to be as discreet as I can, and then there is always someone who can see right through it. That is when I hear the dreaded words …..”You crying?”..I pretend to have a cold or even sneeze, but they know me too well. Then they start laughing at me. Who cares? I will start laughing too.
Did you ever find yourself in a serious situation, such as a funeral, or a life changing situation regarding a loved one? Did you ever want to burst out in laughter? Do you even know why? Think about it. Just when you are about to lose control, make a scene and cry until it hurts so badly and you have to leave the room, something will grab your attention. It could be just a simple thing, like a fly on someone’s forehead, or you spill your coffee all over yourself…that is where the comedy sets in. But is it really comedy or is it our own Spirit telling us it is ok to laugh because you need to lift the negativity from your soul. If you look around the room, half the people, who a few moments earlier, were very serious, sad, angry, or just not in a good place at that moment are also laughing. Your wonderful High Energy Spirit decided at that time that the energy needed to be shifted before it got ugly. When you feel the need to laugh so hard, and you feel good after, then you know that you are in a soul-lifting situation. However, if you are laughing, and you are unsettled about why you are laughing, and what you are laughing about, then your Spirit is telling you that you are not in a “soul-lifting” situation, and you should back away.
MY BEAUTIFUL SISTER CAROL
When my sister Carol was dying of cancer, I would take her to her Chemo Therapy every other day. As I looked around the room at all these poor people who were facing grim futures, my first instinct would be to burst into tears and embrace each and every one of them. I wanted to tell them “I understand what you are feeling". The truth of the matter was that I did not understand. I have my health, and at that point, my future was full of choices. They didn’t have the privilege to make choices for themselves, only to fight for their lives. All they knew was that they were facing a long, hard road ahead. What was I to do? I took out my trivia game and invited all of them to play along. It was amazing how each one of them became cheerful and their facial expressions became enlightened. We were laughing all day. At times I would yell at someone for blurting out the answer out of turn and disqualified them…Then we would take a vote to see if they were allowed back in the game. Of course, they were voted back in. I never witnessed anything like it. The room was full of people who had life-threatening illnesses and the laughter was overwhelming. My sister was making fun of me and she was telling them I was crazy. I loved our “chemo” days. I would bring a new game in every time and every day was a different group of people who were there for the same reason. Therefore, I carried out my quest to elate their spirits, even if it was for just a short period of time. Even though I felt that I nourished their souls with High Spiritual Energy, I nourished my soul as well.
I learned a life lesson during that time. I learned that no matter how dark situations seem in your life, at that time, you must rescue yourself from it and walk toward the bright side and think about where you are and what you have. I felt a sense of accomplishment for giving them hope, just by sharing my love and compassion for each and every one of them, even if I had no control over what their outcome would be. After our day was done there, I would take her home, kiss her good bye and said "I will see you tomorrow." The truth is, I could not wait to get into my car so I could cry my heart out all the way home. I guess I knew deep inside that she was not going to make it, but I had to be strong for her.
MY SISTER CAROL DIED ON NOVEMBER 4, 2003.
To this day, when I want to think of her, I do not dwell on the tragedy of losing her. I think of the comedy of her life. She made so many people laugh. She was a comedian on a daily basis. Even when her life couldn’t be any darker, she still managed to keep all of us from getting upset for all the wrong reasons. I am just truly grateful that my Spirit allowed me to be with her during her last waking moments on this earth. When she died, I felt that she immediately surrounded us with the essence of her wonderful spirit. Every year, as we approach the anniversary of her death, I think about how, at the time of the baseball playoffs, she would torment all the Red Sox fans, mainly my poor husband. She would rub his nose in the Road To Yankee Championship.
In 2005, when the Red Sox and the Yankees were in the pennant race, my husband put his Red Sox hat over the candle dome that I have behind her picture, in which it would cover her, as well. I could almost hear her yelling at him with a few choice words such as “Get this (bleeping) hat off my head.” Well, she must have had a good laugh over that one because the Red Sox not only won the pennant, but went on to win the World Series, as well. I will never forget the echo of her voice when the final out was called. I remember going over to her picture and saying “Well sister, this one’s for you”. Again, I could almost hear her saying “Get Lost Loser”. It makes me laugh every time.
Right now, as I am writing this, she is looking over my shoulder and she is saying, “I’m sorry if I rubbed it in your face when the Yankees won every year. I should have been a little nicer about it.” Then her next words would be “But then again, I hate sticking toothpicks in my eyes, so I guess I had a good reason.”
THROUGH MY LIFE TIME, I have lost many family members, such as my Father, my Grandmothers, Aunts, Uncles, and of course, my Dear Nephew Mikey (Carol’s son). When he died, I thought that was the worst loss of my life, until my sister died. That was when my heart was totally shattered in a million pieces. If it was not for the loving support of my husband, the wonderful bond between me and my siblings, and my family and friends, I would not have been able to get through it. But I did get through it. It still hurts a lot but we all promised ourselves and each other that we would not dwell on her sickness and how she suffered, but the wonderful legacy of love she left behind, and that is what keeps us going. So, in a sense, it is true what they say. Laughter is the best medicine. It certainly works for me!!!!!!
Dedicated to my Dear Sister Carol who passed away on November 4, 2003
Barbara Ann Colangelo (10-14-07)